California, No Doubt About It

I love visiting my college friends in Los Angeles because I feel like I’m a character guest starring in an episode of some television show spin-off from our beloved college dramedy. I know all the characters by heart and can jump in for a few scenes now and then, before returning to my regularly scheduled program. So in case you are just tuning in, here are our opening credits (some good opening credits music from my college days---Dispatch---is now likely streaming on your right via my podcast).

Nick: Nick is one of my boyz from college, which means we saw a lot of shows together in a really short period of time (which now feels like an eternity ago, but when we hang it seems like yesterday...time is truly strange). Instead of going abroad he spent a semester in Disney World driving the Monorail and dating the girl who played Winnie the Poo. He says she wasn’t a barrel of honey, but she could sure f*ck like an animal….

Caitey: Since Caitey is the only person to censer a picture of herself on my blog, I pinched this picture from her MySpace page. Caitey is one of those friends who has her own little language that it takes a few years of collegiate practice to truly master. For instance, the phrase “how’s the construction in your apartment coming” translates to “am I going to have a place to stay when I come to New York in December” and the question “is Juan still your roommate” actually means “am I going to have to share a bed or do I get a room all to myself.”

Amanda: In college Amanda and I unknowingly hosted the first post-jam radio show, where we’d play Phish before the Cure and Dexy's Midnight Runners right after the Allman Brothers Band’s “Midnight Rider.” She likes to change her haircut at least once a year, so her hairdos kind of mark our growth like houses on seasons of Curb Your Enthusiasm.

Nick Jones: Nick Jones and I lived on the same dorm before we both finished puberty and became good friends over the last eight years. Nick is also a race car driver looking for sponsors, so if you want to help him get out of his self-described post-college racing purgatory please send me an e-mail (who knew living out one's matchbox car childhood fantasy would cost 2 mill?).He used to date Caitey, so I am doing the divorced kid thing today, though I love them both equally depending on what is on the evening’s agenda.

Jesse: Jesse doesn’t have a MySpace pic for me to pinch, but works for Bob Marley which automatically makes her cool. She was also the only other person who liked G. Love at Skidmore, despite the fact that we count G.Love among our alumni on Wikipedia.

Dan: Dan was one of my housemates senior year, which means we threw a lot of parties and got to go to court together for breaking a noise ordinance violation one beautiful October day. Throughout college he had a steady stream of Chinese girlfriends and we used to joke that if he was drafted he’d be stationed in Asia. Then one of our housemates actually got called up to Iraq and we all felt really bad. He often goes by Z-man, which means he is the last name in my phonebook and occasionally gets calls from my pocket. Sorry Dan.

Chris: The newest edition to our cast in Chris, Caitey’s current boyfriend. We like Chris and hope that before Christmas he will make the leap from the "guest staring" category at the start of our end credits to the "also staring" category at the end of our opening credits. Welcome aboard and sorry if you'd prefer to remain anonymous!